In the waiting line.

too close as a safe distance
too far apart to jump over

photo by sitruc. 2006, hk

i am me.

It was 1998 back then. Stood alone in faculty office, I was fascinated by a piece of writing hanged on the wall. For 30 mins I stared at it, lifted my mind up above the ceiling.

The very next day having coffee in the faceless crowd at cafeteria, the plain sentences and simple words still grabbed all of me. It wasn't as easy as it is now to search for articles via the internet. So I went to the faculty office again to write it down on my notebook disregarding the curious pairs of eyes:

i am me - "My Declaration of Self-esteem"
by Virginia Satir

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me -
everything that comes out of me is authentically mine,
because I alone choose it -
I own everything about me -
my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
whether they be to others or to myself -
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears -
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me -
by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know -
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me -
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me -
If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded -
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me -
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me -
I am me &

I AM OKAY

photo by sitruc, 2006, seoul, korea

1120 to the power of two.

your theory does not square with the facts,
nor your wish with the desires.


graphic by sitruc, 2006

Peter Pan's blue.

he rather not to fly when again found that's vanity in a dream,
afterall,
like every another day.

the kind of pain he never can get numb to.


photo by sitruc, 2001, andong, korea

God forgot to give a soul.

catches first ray of daylight just for him a crack on the wall looms a handsome smile blinks bleary eyes blatantly sends forth an unadorned innuendo to the landlady of porcelaneous skin right. flawlessly spotlessly she is a doll rolled out from an assembly line

A little black tale.

of my recent visit / purchase in yygallery, 5cm, Gay Giano, Cour Carre, 01TheOne, ScaredCow, Twentyuntil.

Bake me a morning muffin.

New photographic work, "Bake me a Morning Muffin" released. Check out here:
http://sitruc.kachaa.com/index.php?albumCode=44009

I shot it rather different this time. Follow our (model Samantha & me) inclinations, relax, and press the button.

You can almost smell it.
The aroma of Sunday in our coffee.


P.S. My first time do the hair for model. ah, it's fun. :)

Sitrucian I.Q. Test.

Check the device (my new watch). Figure out how it works.

Time: 15:29
Date: 10/21

I advice you to take a mensa test if you can solve it in 15 secs.

Hostage to all the yesterdays.

I have learnt so much from this world

that
I can no longer be myself.


photo by sitruc. 2006, hk

L'art de fleur.

A new startling discovery I made, that the mess on my home desk and flower arranging art are kindred tribes. Definitely it helps rationalize my hesitancy to tidy up.

Oui! Who's in the room cruel enough to ruin the artwork!

This exhibition will last till any given Sunday afternoon with nothing better to do than to pick up my room.

Admission's free. Enjoy.

Option C.

New stack of CDs, movies and books purchased remind me of her question:

48 hrs a day (a) or 7 hands and 8 legs (b)?

My choice is c. 36 hrs a day + dual-core brains. Surely a better deal.

btw, I was pleasantly surprised by the mooncake comes with CDs and magazines. HMV mooncake! So they feed not only your brain and soul but your stomach as well. lovely.

P.S. May your lack of T and R begone soon, dear friend.

Play the soft songs loud.

Got Ms. L's flash gramophone script deployed. See it on the left, slide across the items, sweet motion, huh? :)

My preference to music has changed a lot over the past few years. Once I loved frantic brand sound, electronic compliations, R&B and so. Now have a fondness to those more gentle and smooth. Triggered by, more or less, the first vocal jazz album I bought. [At the Movies] by Nat King Cole. The man who veritably defined modern jazz. And probably in most of the jazz songs we listen nowadays are influenced by this very man in some ways.

His songs as the main course, served with dim light and scotch whisky. A night would then be so much more than a night.

Now bring the light down, off the screen, raise the speaker volume and stay for a while.

Bonne nuit.

Hana & Alice.

*images adopted from the movie Hana & Alice


在陽光下跳著芭蕾舞的她
美得冒泡
岩井俊二系的泡

如果我在日本
如果現在是四月
如果今天要上學
我會繞一條比較遠的路看一下花


[Hana & Alice by Shunji Iwai, 2004]

Sabbath from decency.

Today I woke with an impulse to skip dressing decent. So I put on my jeans & tee to work, switched the Billie Holiday playlist to Love Psychedelico, clued a skyscraper hairstyle and sprayed too much perfume which choked myself a bit.

It feels like being 20. The age, the stage, I practically skipped.

Probably I'm too different to be recognized by my office PC that it refused to work properly for the whole day. Ergo I had to get it replaced at last.

As if it's.

who cares about the aimless loop of déjà vu in overrated reality like screaming bubbles, like ignis fatuus, fade for who they are before elusive sunray comes out of it's exile, the incomplete night completes me